Pairings: Hinted Matsumiya
Rating: PG-13 (for implied adult themes)
Summary: Arashi goes camping, Nino is a saboteur.
Author's Notes: I don't write crack often, but when I was asked to write camping!fic I thought it would be fun. So here is your (late) b-day fic i_am_zan ! Sorry I didn't get a chance to post it on the right day ><"
“So, let me get this straight.” Sho stands in front of an unconcerned looking Nino, playing, what sounds like a Mario game on his DS. “We don’t have any food because something took it while we were out gathering wood.”
“It was a bear, Sho; I wasn’t going to stop it.” Unable to respond, Sho blinks.
“Weren’t you supposed to tie it up a tree?” Jun interjects, walking over. “You said you weren’t going to collect firewood so we let you stay here.”
“There was no rope.” He offers, not looking up from his game.
“You were supposed to buy it.” Sho lays a hand on Jun’s shoulder when he sees the man gritting his teeth while he talks.
“You should have seen the prices, they were outrageous.”
“You’re trying to sabotage this trip aren’t you?” Nino finally looks up at Jun.
“What was your first clue?” The saboteur finishes his game as Aiba and Ohno prevent Jun from killing him. “Am I the only one worried about the bear?”
“I think you should really be more worried about Jun right now.” Head in his hands Sho sits next to Nino.
- - -
“What are we going to eat then?” Sho finally asks after a while, waiting until Jun left to check out the surrounding area. Ohno pulls out his retractable fishing pole.
“I thought you promised management you wouldn’t fish on this trip.” Aiba looks up from the tent instructions, not that he could really read them since they’re in English. A proud looking Ohno just shrugs. “Right then, Sho, give me your hat.”
“Why?” Sho tries to hide the suspicion in his voice, badly.
“I’m going to go looking for berries, of course. I’ve been lots of places for variety shows; I’ll be able to pick out the edible ones.” Aiba starts to look excited. “This is really roughing it!”
“That’s okay,” Sho starts carefully, “I thing Jun has some energy bars in his backpack and we’ve got the drinking water. Let’s not risk a poisonous berry accidentally getting in.” Seeming satisfied with that answer, Aiba helps Sho try to put up the tent. Ohno is getting his tackle box ready when he looks around.
“Has anyone seen Nino?” At which point both Nino and Jun return to the clearing, looking rather ruffled. Jun doesn’t look anyone in the eye and Nino just smiles.
“Camping is fun, isn’t it?” Nino chirps.
- - -
“I’m telling you it’s not poison ivy! Poison ivy is darker and only has three leaves.” Looking exasperated, Sho sighs. “Besides, it’s an American plant.”
“What about poison oak then? I touched a leaf and now I feel itchy.” Aiba visibly restrains himself from scratching.
“That’s American too, where are you getting these names from?” He’s pretty sure he knows already, he’s seen Aiba borrow a lot of movies from Jun over the years.
“What I want to know is why Sho knows so much about poisonous plants.” Ohno cuts in; Nino throws an arm around his shoulder – as if imparting great wisdom.
“Knowing Sho, it’s probably personal experience.”
- - -
“This is actually pretty good.” Nino bites into his fish-on-a-stick, which Jun promptly takes away from him. “Hey!”
“I thought you didn’t want to be here, go play your game or something.” He then proceeds to eat the fish as elegantly as anyone can eat food on a stick around a campfire.
“You aren’t still mad about that, are you Matsujun?” Nino bats his eyes and Jun raises his eyebrows. “Oh, come on, I said I didn’t want to go camping.”
“You didn’t have to go so far!”
“So you’re going to let me go hungry?” When he get’s no response he continues, “Jun, we all know you’re going to give in.” Nino unbends his legs and stretches his arms down to his feet. Soon he finds the fish back in his hands and Jun unable to look at him.
- - -
“Ohno, I wouldn’t put my pillow against the side of the tent like that if I were you.” Nino says as they’re setting up to go to sleep.
“Sho and Aiba put it up, remember?”
Ohno moves his pillow.
- - -
“Nino,” Aiba whispers, “I can’t sleep.”
“Try not talking, it helps.” Nino turns away and doesn’t respond no matter how many times Aiba pokes him.
- - -
Sho wakes up first. As quietly as possible he slips on his shoes and out of the tent. The smell of morning-dew and fresh air greets him as he stretches. Soon he’s joined by the other members when the birds start calling each other – it’s surprisingly loud.
“See, this is why we went camping. No people, nothing processed or shiny, no reporters, no cameras – except Jun’s – no alarm clocks, no interviews, nothing but fresh air.” Both Aiba and Ohno seem to agree with Sho because they’re smiling and breathing deeply.
“And no outlets, my game ran out of batteries.” Nino grumbles before going back into the tent to find his deck of cards. Jun follows him back in without a word and climbs into his sleeping bag, stealing Nino’s pillow to cover his ears.
“We could just go to a beach next time.” Ohno suggests.
Aiba and Sho nod in agreement.